A name so called ‘Friend’ December 31, 2005

It is true the saying, “Enemy is easy to find, but friend is difficult”…. I found it is so true. We never know how people treat you. In front of you they act like there is no problem and normal….but on your back, they talk about you (well, mostly in a not a good way).

I met all kind of ‘friends’ and only few who are sincere and like to be friend with me. One ‘friend’ even talk bad about me in the open forum, she lied about everything she said and she was just mean.
My godness….. I am glad that I don’t have that kind of friend anymore.

I am just thinking…why people just get along well. Laughing together, talking together, etc….and far from jealous or bitterness.

I know a ‘friend’ who like to tell something that is not true. She wants to gain people attention. She wants to make friend but her way is not acceptable. She thinks people do not talk to other people? so that she just confides all her problem and bitterness toward other people to somebody?

Another one was so sensitive….. Without saying anything to me, she just talked to other people her feeling toward me… WHY?? is she coward or something…. and she is still wondering why I haven’t been contacting her anymore??? is she crazy???

I am rather disturbed with that…. I feel that I am cheated. I hope more from these people but they just are not worthy to be called friend.

Well, just vent out my feeling….and I am feeling disturbed…maybe not for long, but for this moment, I am sure I will not talk to that people…..

God bless….and happy New Year….

New Year’s Eve Note December 31, 2005

Today is New Year’s Eve, but I feel like just another regular day. I have been feeling like this since I moved to the USA. I guess because I am away from my families and friends. It is just totally different. No trumpets blowing along the street welcoming the New Year, no parties and talk with friends, no dancing poco2 and dangdut, no church service, no eating Indonesian food…..oh….
Am I just a whimper? maybe.

I just miss those ol’ times…. Wish I could be in Bogor for Christmas and New Year…would be so nice.

I miss my Indonesian Christmas and New Year….. I miss all the people in Indonesia….

Happy New Year….

My Birthday Gifts December 26, 2005

This is the birthday card that my husband made for me. I think he meant to make something on the computer but the night before my birthday, the power was off. So, he made it by hand…. and to me, it is so beautiful.
Well, along with it were a nice bracelet and a saving for our trip to Indonesia.
Thank you Hon….

Merry Christmas to you All… December 22, 2005

Merry Christmas Everyone. Hope you all will have a wonderful Christmas and hope that the spirit of Christmas will always make you at peace…
God bless you.

Some thought on Ebay December 20, 2005

I like Ebay..and I like doing business on Ebay. Why? because sometimes I got good deals with things people sold and I also got to sell our junk. So, it is a mutual relationship…symbiosis mutualism…hehehhe…

But sometimes I get so annoyed with how people describe their items. For example, for the handbag, in the picture it seems that the bag is well worn and almost totally junk, the strap was worn so you can see the string come out, the inside is full with stains,….but the seller, with pride and confidence, says that it is in ‘MINT’ condition.
I found so many of them….

I just think how easy some people say their stuff is ‘mint’, ‘almost new’, ‘only worn once’, etc….when in fact their stuff doesn’t look like it.
Some of the seller there are liar.
One time I bought something and I’ve never received the item. BIG LIAR. I filed with Ebay and with someone else who they say could help me tracking the seller down…but NONE.
I got very pissed…and it was not a cheap item either.
I also got fooled with the fakes…..and when I asked for refund and return, they said they would only charge me half price and I got to keep the item.
WOW, I didn’t sign up to buy fake item.
Gosh…..

It is just amazing how people just a liar….so, I have to be extra careful doing business with such people.
I cannot sell the fake item that I bought from Ebay either. Why they allowed me to buy the fake but not to sell it again? Ebay said that they have a team that controll the fake listings….so far many seller who sell fakes go by without getting banned or cancelled. Ebay said that they cannot controll all them because they are so many…. Well, duhhhh…, they are so many…just banned them, if they are serious…. Even I know which ones who sell fakes…. for example the fake bags from China, Hongkong, etc. who sell new with tag Louis Vuitton for under $100, is it difficult to spot them????

Sigh…..I just don’t understand…..

Well, I still like buying stuff that I find interesting on Ebay and selling my junk too….so, I guess I have to accept that reality and move on….

Just venting out…..

This is my 33rd Birthday December 16, 2005

One day before my birthday. Wow, I am 33 years old now…. WOW….
I did a bit flash back of what I have been doing for the past….hmmm…mmm….33 years. Lot of happiness, sadness, struggles but moslty, laughters….
Why? because I am surrounded by people who want to laugh with me. Who appreciate me the way I am without any prejudice. I thank God for that.

God, I am 33 years old now…. I thank You for all the things You has done for me and will be done for me. You are always there to support me when I fall, wipe my tears and give me hope. I feel You in me when I am happy. Thank you God… Only YOU knows what kind of person I am.

I thank my mom who delivered me 33 years ago. Who raised me lovingly and punished me when I had to be punished. Who always be there for me in good and bad, since baby, childhood, teenager life and womenhood….until now. Thank you Mama… I love you so much.

To my Dad who always support me in everything I wanted and always. His knowledge and discipline made me realized that I have to be strong to be able to get what I want. He inspires me to participate in church activities also. Thank you Papi….

To my Husband….. who always support me since we met on the internet….in good and bad. Who alwasy be there to give me support matterially and spiritually. Who is so patient with me and understanding. Nobody loves me like he does….. just purely and thoughtfully.
Thank you, Honey… I love you so much.

To my boys…..who always cheer up my days….. whom I put all my hope to be a better person and mom. My only longing is to watch them grow, be good men and have a good family…..
I love you so much, Boys….. Thank you for choosing me to be your mom…..

To my brother and sisters….who always kept me company when I was with them. We had many moments of arguing, mad to each other or even laughing together….. I just want you to know that I love you ALL very much…. I miss you Guys…..

To my friends….. nothing can express my gratitude to have you as my friends….. It is good to have friends like you…..each of you….have a special memory in my mind.
Thank you…..

This is my 33rd Birthday….and I am thankful….to be as I am now….

God bless.

Another sharing December 15, 2005

It is not secret that I am deeply homesick. I share this everyday with Sam and hope he will not get bored of my moanings. But I do my best to overcome my feeling with listen to some songs that inspires me to remember good things in the past. And it somehow works.
I have been calling and chatting with my friends in Indonesia, sharing the story of the old good times. And it helps….. I laughed and laughed and laughed…what a great feeling.

Today the day seems so gloomy with snow and dark day. Last night Sam asked me to drop off Jonah this morning and I don’t know why, I felt hesitant to do that.
I remember back then in January 2005 I had an accident with my car because of the slippery road. It is true that mostly because my Nissan Pathfinder at that time was only two wheel drive car and it was not reliable at all in the snow, even in the rain, it got slipped almost.
We solved that problem by trading it in and got the Honda Odyssey. And Sam sold his Honda Accord and got the new Toyota 4Runner.

But still my confidence is not up to the level that I will be able easily drive in the snowy day. Last week I went out at night and it started with the clear road. But right in the mid way, it snowed a lot….and I couldn’t barely see the road. It was a terrible choice for me whether to go back home or to go ahead for shopping. It was dark and I thanked God that I took Sam’s car with the 4 wheel drive. But the snow was so heavy, I couldn’t see clearly and the road was covered with thick snow. I was scared and all the way I prayed and prayed. I managed to go to three stores to get Christmas gifts and groceries. I drove slowly and just following the paths from the car in front of me for guidance, otherwise I had no idea where was my lane.

It was a scary experience but I managed to come home safely. I know that I have to overcome my scareness and hesitance to drive in the snow.
God helps me.

Thank you to my husband who always encourage me to try and try….to convince me that the car is doing better than the one that I had in the accident. Thank you Honey….

Another day of Winter. December 8, 2005

Today is a snowy day just like the days before. I feel trapped at home with no where to go. Actually, if I can go somewhere, I am free to do that but I don’t feel like going somewhere with the astronaut custom (thick and heavy coat).

Usually when it is school day for Jonah, I drop him off to his school and River and I would go around the town to browse or shop. We then meet Sam for lunch sometimes…it is fun.
But now….even to drop him off to school I don’t feel like it…so, thanks to Sam, he is willing to take him to school and pick him up too… Thank God.

Yesterday we went outside just to play in the snow and I took my camcorder and recorded the boys activity. It was fun but since I didn’t have appropriate snow boots and pants, I got cold easily. The boys were just enjoying their time in the snow although it was getting dark. Sam came home and joined us, and he was welll prepared too. Sometimes I think that buying snow apparels just wasting money…but then I realize that to live in the snow area, it is an essential to have snow gears.
Sam has been encouraging me to buy the snow gears/apparels…he is very supportive on that one. He wants me to feel comfortable even in the snow and cold weather. He is more of an active guy, like outdoor very much, unlike me who just feel OK inside the house with the heather on and warm coffee (not to mention Indonesian snacks)…hehehhehe.
So, I shall see what I can do to get the snow gears……maybe I will be motivated to go sledding with my boys…. Who knows?

Well, not much to say here…just sharing my days in the winter. Hope we can go through winter safely and well.

God bless.

Lord I hope this day is good December 5, 2005

Lord, I hope this day is good
I’m feelin empty and misunderstood
I should be thankful, Lord, I know I should
But Lord I hope this day is good

Lord, have you forgotten me?
I been prayin to you faithfully
I should be thankful Lord you know I am
But Lord I hope you understand

I don’t need fortune and I don’t need fame
Send down the thunder, Lord, send down the rain
But when you’re plannin just how it will be
Plan a good day for me

(Lee Ann Womack)

Our DSL is sucked. December 5, 2005

I have been very pissed with my Earthlink DSL connection here. It is just unreliable and sucked. It goes down at least once a day, sometimes every two hours. The reason we chose Earthlink was because it was the only DSL service that could reach our house here in Ada (since our house is on the hill and in wooded area). We tried to get another provider but most of them only provide dial up. One company said we have to pay $5500 to be able to get the cable connection. So, we ended up with Earthlink again.

The reason we don’t like Earthlink is because about two years ago we used Earthlink and when we moved to Grand Rapids, MI we asked for their DSL modem. A month went by without any modem received then we called them. They just acted like they didn’t know anything. Then they said it would be in our house in about two weeks. WOW…after so long and no apology? Sam got fed up with it and just told them to cancel it. And they just shut up our Earthlink data right away, no warning so all our data and emails were erased. What a scam!!!
We then used Comcast for our cable modem. It was OK enough.

Then we moved to Ada, and as I said in the beginning, the only provider we knew for DSL connection that reached our house was only Earthlink. We didn’t want the dial up.

So, we ended up with Earthlink again and the DSL service has not been good. I tried to call them and mostly they put me on hold. One time they took my call and asked me to wait for 15-20 minutes then someone from India answered. It was a painful conversation because he just asked me basic questions and each time asked me to hold for 3-5 minutes, for almost 1 hours (plus 30 minutes waiting to be directed).
He asked me to try this and that (and it seemed that he just read it from the regular procedure which I have done before I called them, otherwise why should I?).
So, after bearing with the phone conversation for so long I decided to hang up. No use.

I was so angry without being able to get somebody whom I could talk to about the problem.

Sam told me that we are gonna change the service and just pay whatever the cost for terminate the contract early. It is not worth to suffer from the lack of support and bad connection.
He said that he found another service that do DSL to our house.

Wish us luck….