Love is always giving? February 29, 2008

I know that the past month my postings were more about love and relationship. What is love? as for the Bible said that God is Love… and Love is about giving rather than receiving.

I am fully aware of that.

When I apply Love in my relationship…in my any other relationship, I feel a bit uncomfortable to always give but don’t have feedbacks. For example, you love your lover so much so that you are the one who always giving him loving words, loving thoughts, sharing feelings, sending something nice, taking first move to keeping in touch (writing, calling, sending texts), etc. And the feedbacks are nice but always as a result of responding (sometimes not for some understandable reasons) only, not taking the first move. If you know what I meant.

And those feeling worn you down. You begin to think that you are the only one that care. Although love about giving but to always take the first move in everything is numbing. Love between two people takes two people…. it takes two to tango.. and all these times I have been feeling that I dance alone.

I don’t want to lose anybody…but I need to know whether that somebody cares enough to make the first move.

So, love is about giving only? well, yes…but it is nice to have feedbacks.

My hope…. February 28, 2008

Let there be you
Let there be me.
Let there be oysters
Under the sea.
Let there be cuckoo
A lark and a dove
But most of all
Please, let there be love!

Austin Weather February 28, 2008

This is the first time I experienced such an extreme weather like in Austin.  It happened many times, today you can get as cold as 30-40 degree then the day after it can be so hot like in the 80’s.

It is hard on the AC/Heater system as we have to switch them on and off almost everyday.

Today we got AC people looked at the problem for our AC system upstairs.  Well, it seemed that we had to pay extra for fixing the problem.   AC is essential here as when it get hot, it is so uncomfortable being in the house.

Sam has been working from home this week.  He has been busy and busy.  He planned to go to Ft. Worth tomorrow but with the work load that he has now, he couldn’t make it.  He canceled all the reservation.  He likes going to the museums, parks, etc. to take pictures.  He got a new camera, Canon EOS Mark III.  He is very proud of it and has been trying to get me and the boys for picture session.  Well, we did some..but mostly not, especially me.  I am not really in the mood to be taken pictures.  I am not sure I ever like it….;)

Oh well, another sleepy day for me…. better get some rest…

I wish you all a good day and a safe trip to someone special….;)

Monday Morning Thoughts February 26, 2008

Got up in the morning with the heavy head. I think that was the result of the (again) argument. Geez…when it will end?

And because the upstairs was so hot, I turned on the fan (not good, as I cannot stand the wind). The AC people are supposed to come for estimation tomorrow. Hopefully we can get the upstairs AC works soon.

I just got back from dropping Jonah off his shuttle bus. It was cold outside and with my condition, it doesn’t get any better.

I have been thinking about my life lately and finding out what was/is wrong. All came back to myself. It is so hard indeed, I cannot decide anything as it would affect a lot of people.

God, I ask for your guidance, wisdom and strength in this difficult time for me.

Have a great day, Everyone.

Thought for Monday February 25, 2008

My weekend suck! Yes, and why? because I had a bad news from my dearest friend. Well, it was not too bad as I already am used to resist any pain.

It is wonderful to be in love. I think I said it a long time ago about someone to someone. And because it was a complicated situation, I meant the sentence was for the someone whom I talked to. That someone got the wrong impression and thought that it was for the other someone. Confusing enough? bear with me…;)

Do you know how it likes to love somebody so much that you cannot let him go but you cannot be with him either?

Dream comes true February 23, 2008

Today is Saturday, another weekend. It is cold outside and so my heart. I have something that might not be good to share worldwide but I can tell you that I have a mix feeling these days.

Do you ever experience the feeling of a long longing and desperate one. Everyday you dream the dream that you think will never come true. You have free fantasies because it will not happen anyway. It is so powerful that it can put smile in your face, even when you think that it is impossible to realize that dream.

Then…the dream comes true… no, not entirely comes true. But a half way true.

You have connection with it but you cannot touch it, you cannot smell it, you rarely can talk with it..etc. How desperate it is?

So, it is like a tease but you will never let it go, though it is painful. You take every chance you have, every second you have, every attempt you can try.

Still, the half of the dream is sitting there..no improvement.

I don’t know where this come true will go or when will it last…but I will never let it go. No…No… I can’t afford a long painful times when I lost touch with it.

Am I crazy? maybe.

I think all my life I have been a dreamer. Some came true, some haven’t.

Dream the dreams…like my dear friend said, as they will come true. Holding out hope.

My New Man… February 22, 2008

Ups…don’t get me wrong…this is not a new husband or whatever… but my new favorite singer. He’s been around long time and gosh, I like his voice and songs. He is well known for his gentleness in every way.

More about him can be found here

He is Don Williams. What interest me is his song, his voice, his way of life ( he preferred to be away from the big celebrity world), well, this is the first time I knew such a humble celebrity. He is quite well known in the US and abroad.

Yesterday I bought his albums and I sent another one to my special friend. Hope he likes it.

So, from now on, you will hear more about Don Williams….and his songs….

Thank you Don….

You’re my Bestfriend Ever! February 22, 2008

Actually this song was intended to honor my best friend that I just re-connected.

It is so good to have a friend who understand you, who always be there for you, who never fail to give feedback and consolations, who never tired giving courage and compassion.

He always makes me laugh with his jokes or just comments.

He was/is always there when I need(ed) to confide(d) my troubles and problems. I lost him for 8 years…and God gave us chance to re-connected.

He is my best friend….ever…. and this song is for him….(just ignore the golden ring and children words).

Thank you for being my best friend.

You placed gold on my finger
You brought love like I’ve never known
You gave life to our children
And to me,a reason to go on.

Chorus:
You’re my bread when I’m hungry
You’re my shelter from troubled winds
You’re my anchor in life’s ocean
But most of all, you’re my best friend

When I need hope and inspiration
You’re always strong when I’m tired and weak
I could search this whole world over
You’d still be everything that I need.

New Update February 22, 2008

It has been a while since my last posting.  I have been feeling up and down with many issues lately.  For some close friends, they would know what my issues are.  But the one who really knew my issues is my very good friend far away there in Europe.  I only can confide everything to him.

Needless to say that things were going south for me.  But there were some spark and I can say that it was beautiful.

I am not sure what happened with me, but I know that something beautiful will happen.  I don’t know yet…but it will.

So, keep my finger crossed and just doing what I am doing for now…

God bless.

Happy Valentine, Dear…. February 14, 2008

Happy Valentine’s Dearest….

Lord send your Angels…to watch over my loved ones…